Italians

01. You have at least one relative who wore a black
dress every day for an entire year after a funeral.

02. You spent your entire childhood thinking what you
ate for lunch was pronounced "sangwich."

03. Your family dog understood Italian.

04. Every Sunday afternoon of your childhood was
spent visiting your grandparents and extended family.

05. You've experienced the phenomenon of 150 people
fitting into 50 square feet of yard during a family
cookout.

06. You were surprised to discover the FDA
recommends you eat three meals a day, not seven.

07. You thought killing the pig each year and having
salami, capacollo, pancetta and prosciutto hanging
out to dry from your shed ceiling was absolutely
normal. (Wow, that's really Italian!)

08. You ate pasta for dinner at least three times a week,
and every Sunday, and laughed at the commercial for
Wednesday is Prince Spaghetti day.

09. You grew up thinking no fruit or vegetable had a
fixed price and that the price of everything was
negotiable through haggling.

10. You were as tall as your grandmother by the age of
seven.

11. You thought everyone's last name ended in a vowel.

12. You thought nylons were supposed to be worn
rolled to the ankles.

13. Your mom's main hobby is cleaning.

14. You were surprised to find out that wine was
actually sold in stores.

15. You thought that everyone made their own tomato
sauce.

16. You never ate meat on Christmas Eve or any
Friday for that matter.

17. You ate your salad after the main course.

18. You thought Catholic was the only religion in the
world.

19. You were beaten at least once with a wooden spoon
or broom.

20. You thought every meal had to be eaten with a
hunk of bread in your hand.

21. You can understand Italian but you can't speak it.

22. You have at least one relative who came over on the boat.

23. All of your uncles fought in a World War.

24. You have at least six male relatives named Tony,
Frank, Joe or Louie.

25. You have relatives who aren't really your relatives.

26. You have relatives you don't speak to.
Haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!

27. You drank wine before you were a teenager.

28. You relate on some level, admit it, to the Godfather
and the Sopranos. I maka a meata ball you can't
refuse! ...forrgetttabbboutit! badda bing!

29. You grew up in a house with a yard that didn't
have one patch of dirt that didn't have a flower or a
vegetable growing out of it.

30. Your grandparent's furniture was as comfortable
as sitting on plastic. Wait!!!! You were sitting on
plastic.

31. You thought that talking loud was normal.

38. You called pasta "macaroni".

39. You dreaded taking out your lunch at school.

40. Going out for a cup of coffee usually meant going
out for a cup of coffee over Zia's house.

41. Every condition, ailment, misfortune, memory loss
and accident was attributed to the fact that you didn't
eat something.

42. Those of you who get this...YOU KNOW who to
pass it on to!

32. You thought sugared almonds and the Tarantella
were common at all weddings.

33. You thought everyone got pinched on the cheeks
and money stuffed in their pockets by their relatives.

34. Your mother is overly protective of the males in the
family no matter what their age.

35. There was a crucifix in every room of the house.

36. Wakes would be held in someone's living room.

37. You couldn't date a boy without getting approval
from your father. (Oh, and he had to be Italian