Perks of Being over 50

PERKS OF BEING OVER 50 or,

If you're not over 50, this is
what you have to look forward to.

1. Kidnappers are not very
interested in you.

2. In a hostage situation you
are likely to be released first.

3. No one expects you to run--anywhere.

4. People call at 9 pm and ask,
"Did I wake you???"

5. People no longer view you
as a hypochondriac.

6. There is nothing left to
learn the hard way.

7. Things you buy now
won't wear out.

8 You can eat dinner at 4 pm.

9. You can live without sex
but not your glasses.

10. You get into heated arguments
about pension plans.

11. You no longer think of
speed limits as challenge.

12. You quit trying to hold
your stomach in no matter
who walks into the room.

13. You sing along with
elevator music.

14. Your eyes won't get
much worse.

15. Your investment in health insurance is
finally beginning to pay off.

16. Your joints are more accurate meteorologists
than the national weather service.

17. Your secrets are safe with your friends
because they can't remember them either.

18 Your supply of brain cells is
finally down to manageable size.

19. You can't remember
who sent you this list!

And you notice these are
all in Big Print for your convenience.

You should forward this to
anyone you can remember